This is the sitch: friend "lena" is just separated from her hubby, and he wants to be a secret (cuz he doesn't want it to happen). They moved last year about 2 hours away, so everyone sort of questioned why he was down here for a visit for 2 weeks alone, but nothing was said. A lot of little things put together though made it obvious, her "lonely" and "thinking" pics on Myspace, along with uncharacteristic "love" messages to her from him, along with his page being one big love message overall (wallpaper, pics, music, everything {blah, but I understand}). And little comments like his brother stating "he's in his room." So this morning my husband and I were discussing it and came to the conclusion that they were probably having problems. So "Lena" sent me a photo comment last week and I responded with usual B.S. but
Never once did you say that love these people, that your life would be less fulfilling without them.
Choose your friends based on the *value* they bring into your world. Traits such as being a good listener, funny, interesting, interested, discreet, trustworthy, loyal, and faithful are few of the things I look for in a friend.
A person who would hurt you -- intentionally or not -- by slandering your husband is not your friend.
I'm sorry to hear that her marriage is going through a rough time -- and you're correct in managing your reaction to this situation. Never say anything that you may be sorry for later.
My best suggestion is to be honest. Tell "Lena" that your feelings were hurt that she holds your husband in such low esteem. Tell "Lena" that as much as you value her friendship and honesty, the first allegiance you hold is to the man you married. If she *chooses* to exclude some facets of her life from you, you completely understand. (To be clear...this solution = NO DRAMA!) However, under no circumstances should you OR he allow someone to disrespect him.
Good luck, and I sure hope I helped.
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