When I was really young
Two or three, three or four
And the memories....
They're not really clear.
Not clear enough
To last me so long
Without her
I remember a smile
Wide and a bit forced
Everyone forces on a smile
When around children
She scrunches up her nose
When she smiles.
I thought she was pretty
Like a brown haired Barbie doll...
My Aunt Barbie
We pulled up to their little country home
I don't even remember which state
It was in the U.S, though.
I remember that much.
There were horses,
And dogs, and cats.
I was excited about the horses
But not about the dogs
I was afraid of the dogs
We walked inside a brick house
Or was it made of something else?
It's all a bit fuzzy
Things get that way
When they happened years ago
There was a chess set and checkers
I wanted to play and my brother did too
He was only barely speaking at the time
A little baby in my mother's arms
Well, we couldn't play chess
I was really upset about that
But I was proud of myself
For not bursting out crying
Even though I had a huge lump in my throat
My parents yelled at me
For shedding a few tears
I couldn't bring down
But I was so young
I went to my cousin's room
What was her name...?
Heather. That's right.
She gave me a bunch of clothes
Not the most exciting thing
But I acted like I loved them anyway
She was a teenager, and I was in awe
Of the posters and clothes strewn around the room
Teenagers were the coolest.
My cousin had a brother
Oh geez, what was his name now?
I really don't recall. Isn't that pitiful?
He wouldn't let me in his room
Which only wanted me to go in more
He could ride a skateboard.
I thought that was amazing.
He never said much to me though
He was too cool for me.
Another thing I remember
Is feeding the horses
My father would hold me up to the fence
Aunt Barbie held the carrots within my reach
She showed me how to do it
It was so hard and scary
You put the baby carrots in your hand
And held them up to a horse's face
I didn't want them to bite me
But after Aunt Barbie did it,
I took a carrot
Held it out, thrusting my palm upward
My fingers curved down, trying to stay away
From the horse's teeth
The horse pressed his furry lips into my palm
It was a funny feeling, and I laughed
Making my palm shake, and the carrot fall
To the grass below
If I had such a good time
With Aunt Barbie and my cousins
Why do we never go back?
I had fun. Loads of it.
I guess my dad felt differently
About his only visit to his sister
Since my birth
They have some kind of rivalry
But they're brother and sister
Aren't they supposed to be there for each other?
Aren't they supposed to love each other?
To send each other gifts at Christmas
To call each other and ask how they're doing
To send each other cards on their birthdays
What, not a single card? Ever?
She's not dead, you know.
She's still alive
And I want her to be a part of my life
She's my aunt, and I don't want to be forced
Forced to ignore that she is even there.
Why do you even hate her so much?
When I ask, I get a stupid answer
"Because they're so different"
My mother says
"They don't get along real well"
My father refuses to say anything
So what if they're different?
So what if they don't get along?
My brothers and I don't get along either
Does that mean I should do what
My father is doing? What my aunt is doing?
Should I cut them out of my life completely?
Is there some family feud?
Some secret I don't know about?
I'm a big girl now
You can tell me. I won't freak out.
I promise.
When I was really young
Two or three, three or four
And the memories....
They're not really clear. (instead of really maybe use the word very?)
Not clear enough
To last me so long
Without her
We pulled up to their little country home
I don't even remember which state
It was in the U.S, though. (basically you already said it was a state
I remember that much. so no need to put it was in the U.S
There were horses, but do what you want.)
And dogs, and cats. (take out the first and because your
I was excited about the horses listing types of animals)
But not about the dogs,
I was afraid of the dogs
If I had such a good time
I'm not going to sit here and tell you it was a good poem like some of these mor*ons or here that just want theextra 2 points. It was an okay poem but I think it could be better. You wrote it as if telling a story you need to add more feeling behind it. There were certain parts where I felt like I was there and could feel what you were feeling but there were other parts where I felt as if you were just telling me what happened without detail. I'm not trying to be mean I'm just trying to help you critique your poem. You can take my advice or you can say F her but just know that I'm just trying to help. Good luck with your poem :)
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